Separate the caregiver and money decisions
The best guardian is not always the best trustee. Consider parenting values, geography, household stability, sibling relationships, finances, health, and willingness, then decide whether one person or separate roles fit.
Care decisions and money decisions for parents of young children
| Decision | Who or what decides | Where it is written |
|---|---|---|
| Who raises the children | A guardian and a backup | A will |
| Who manages an inheritance | A trustee or custodian, chosen separately | A trust or custodial arrangement |
| When a child gets control | Set by the trust terms | The trust document |
| Life-insurance proceeds | The named beneficiary | The beneficiary form |
| Retirement accounts | The named beneficiary | The beneficiary form |
| Emergency care | Instructions for a caregiver | A written emergency plan |
Avoid naming a minor directly without a plan
A child cannot manage inherited property in the same way as an adult. Trust terms can address housing, education, health, support, milestones, and protection beyond a single automatic distribution age.
Coordinate the practical details
Documents work best with current family information.
- Guardian and backup choices
- Trustee and successor choices
- Life-insurance beneficiaries
- Retirement beneficiaries
- Emergency caregiver instructions
- Digital and account access for the surviving household
What is the first step for new parents?
Name a guardian for your children in your will. The Judiciary notes that a will can nominate guardians for minor children.
Without one, the court decides. Choose and ask the person before you name them.
What makes a good guardian?
Someone who shares your values, is healthy, has time and love for children, and whom your children know. Money is secondary, since you can provide it through a trust. Name a backup too.
How do I make sure the guardian has money?
Through life insurance, savings, and a trust to hold and manage them. A trust can pay for support, education, and health over years. Without one, a court may need to supervise the money until the child grows up.
Should I name the same person as guardian and as manager of the money?
You can, but many parents separate the roles so one person raises the children and another watches the funds; it builds in a check. Use whichever fits your family.
At what age should my child receive an inheritance?
There is no right answer. Some parents pay out in stages, such as portions at 25, 30, and 35.
Others give the trustee discretion. Vermont's custodial law for minors ends at 21 for gifts made by will or trust.
What if we both die together?
Your documents should cover that case. A will can say who inherits if both spouses die close together.
Vermont also treats a person as having died first if they do not survive by 120 hours. Naming successors avoids gaps.
Do we each need a will even if we own everything jointly?
Yes. Jointly owned property passes to the survivor, but if both die together or the survivor later dies, there may be nothing directing the property or naming a guardian; each parent should sign a will.
Do we need life insurance?
Often. It replaces income and pays for a guardian's costs. Talk to an insurance adviser about the amount and type.
Then choose beneficiaries with advice about how a child’s funds will be managed, since a minor cannot receive proceeds directly without an arrangement.
What about our powers of attorney and directives?
Sign them too. At any age, an illness or accident can leave a parent unable to act. A power of attorney lets your spouse or another person manage money, and an advance directive names who makes health decisions.
When our child turns 18, does anything change?
Yes. An 18-year-old is a legal adult. A parent has no automatic authority over the young adult's health or money.
Many families have the new adult sign a health directive and a power of attorney.
Can grandparents help with the plan?
They can, and their own plans matter too; a grandparent's will can leave money to a trust for a grandchild instead of an outright gift. Coordinate so the children's guardian and trustee work together.
How often should we update the plan as children grow?
At each major change: a new child, a move, a job change, a home purchase, or a change in who you would name as guardian. Otherwise every few years. Children grow up, and so do the choices.
Sources and further reading